Friday, February 22, 2008

Tales from the creepiest building on campus

An update on me right-er now. I'm in a creepy hallway that reminds me of the school used in various teen-horror flicks as Swimfan, and, well others. Swimfan mostly. Did anyone else see that? CREEPY. 

This building has to be one of the oldest on campus, given the gargoyles keeping watch from the roof and the elevator that takes 10 minutes to get to the fourth floor. Also, there are windows on the doors of the classrooms and offices that are that speckly, textured glass, circa 1965. The door of my classroom has a mail slot. Who gets mail in a classroom? The hallway is long and brown, with linoleum flooring and green cork boards. There's a chair across from me that seems as if it has been mauled by a hungry cougar. Why a cougar would want to eat a chair, I'm not sure of. But, I'm sure the writers of Swimfan would know. They did shoot their film in this hallway. 

I'm serious, this chair is ridiculously frightening to be an inanimate object. It's unloved tweed fabric hangs off of it as it slowly sinks away with newness of the building. It sits alone as if waiting for someone important to notice it and give it new life. Or, maybe it's just waiting for me to be sitting in it with my hands tied behind my back and my mouth gagged because the psycho TA who had been waiting in his office for me to walk by finally got his wish. 

Probably not. But, you never know.

I think, now, more than ever, I'm afraid of a school shooting happening here. I'm surprised that, in the wake of recent tragedy at Virginia, copycats haven't targeted us yet.  There was one other school just recently. The guy hid behind a projector screen and took out nearly a full classroom. UT has 55,000 students. What is stopping just one person from doing that? It happened in the 60s. My dad was in school here when Charles Whitman climbed to the top of the main building tower and opened fire. You're not allowed to go to the top of tower anymore, but that's not where all of these recent shootings have been taking place. 

It's scary to be at the biggest school in the nation sometimes. Not just because of the constant threat of violence, but because of the threat of getting lost in the wake of so many other people around you being so successful. I think to myself sometimes that there is no way I will get a job after I graduate. There are so many other people competing against me from my own school. My GPA is not good enough, which is constantly weighing me down. I don't know how to shake it, other than to choose to not let it guide my decisions. I feel like I'm not the only person that feels this way. No matter your GPA, students here are all scared out of their minds about what is to become of them. Some of my friends that have already graduated and haven't found "real jobs" are among those. Then again, there's the possibility that God may put me in a place that has nothing to do with PR. Ok. I guess I'm ok with that. But, why am I here?

Thursday, February 14, 2008

I'll take a Thursday, please.

Sitting on a wooden bench, looking through Thunderbird windows, I realize how much I adore Thursdays. 

I've almost finished 2/3 of my Soy Vanilla Chai, my personal drink of choice since JoJo let me try hers during finals last year. They don't even ask what I want here anymore, they just say, "that'll be $3.13, please." and begin to make my drink. That may be part of the reason I love Thursdays. Not that I predict my friends here will make my drink every time, but it's always a pleasant surprise.

Every aspect of my Thursdays is great. No school. I get up around 9 am, read the paper, actually make my breakfast, watch a little Ellen, and then the rest of my day is determined by chance. Today, I've chosen the celebratory studying route. And, by celebratory, I mean, I haven't studied much at all since January 15th, and I'm celebrating my return to commitment.

Last week, I received a phone call on Thursday, saying "Sarah. It's a beautiful day. Let's take pictures of it." And, off we went -- skipping classes and group meetings in search of the sunset. Not to be cheesy in saying that, but we actually found what we were looking for. 

It is Valentine's Day today, though. So, hopefully, I will be placing a picture close to this one, but with better looking people in it next Thursday. Actually, I know I will. I have to. I commit here and now that every Thursday will be worth documenting. 

Friday, February 1, 2008

I get hungry when I'm fasting

Sometimes, you just don't know what to expect. 
At the turn of this year, for example, I had my year fully planned out. I would take the classes I'm scheduled for, stay home on Thursday nights because my best friends have fled the country, and see my boyfriend on the weekend. 

What I have gotten so far is - ok, I am taking the classes I need, but they are pretty much boring. I have been able to reconnect with some old friends through them, friends from MoCo. (By the way, did you know that Montgomery College is now LONESTAR COLLEGE? Weird.) I have made new friends. Kimber, Latane, Cessie, and I went to Midnight Rodeo last night. Danced in a completely ridiculous line dance for about 20 minutes, and then jetted. I mean, it really was the hustle, but some hip hop guy threw in a "walk it out" in and labeled it his own. Also, I don't see my boyfriend every weekend. It just doesn't happen. And, it may not even work out to live in the same town this summer and fall. It sucks a little. I was really looking forward to it. So, if it winds up not working out, I might be upset, but I might be surprised by other opportunities, as this year has already displayed.

Also, Jen has really red eyes today. I think it's because she's stoned. Jen.