For the sake of novelty

I need the kind of saving that requires a bloody war

I'm running out the back while its knockin' at my door

I have not agreed to take it or respect its passing blow

There is power, there is thunder, and I sell tickets to the show

(Soon everything around me will be crumbling to dust and I would be returning to the ravages of lust.)

I am in need of a savior.

I am in need of a savior.

For the sake of injustice, I have profited my own

Pawned my jewels at the corner for some grey and blistered stone

For the sake of novelty, I have whored myself along

Bartered my lasting soul for a brief and hollow song

If there was one thing

in this world I could esteem

then let it carry on me

and witness my first apology

Come, beloved season

So, my parents, in fleeing the hurricane that has ravaged the southern coast of Texas this month, including Montgomery, have found refuge in the likes of fall foliage, known best as an aspen tree. The beautiful leaves have, in the last few weeks, turned a sunny color of yellow-orange in the photograph they have sent us all reminds me of an autumn I never had. 

In Texas, we have no Autumn, no fall. All is left to the after-effects of Hurricanes and the introductions of our short, wet, scaly winter week. The trees kind-of loath change here. The summer just ambles on into October, leaving them hot, dry and down-right unaware of the changing of season. The best hint of cool breeze we get is the less-than-common breath from the north, sponsored by a strong storm somewhere above and West. If then, the air is fresh, we can all but suspect that our weather will return to its naturally humid state, post-haste. 

There's not much I can say about the fall except that it's my favorite season. I think it might be all of our favorites. What of summer? Clearly, those who love the summer in Texas would rather spend their days lying on the surface of the sun, surrounded by mirrors. And fall, the mythical unknown in the mind of the children of Texas. The seemingly natural reaction of the tilt of the earth - everywhere else in the world. And, we, the rest, are but dreaming of this orange and yellow and golden-red land of Canaan, where the wealth of sun-color flows like the wine of heaven. 

To all of this reality, I say, "Come, you beloved season! Make me your lover! Shine down upon my face that I might also feel the coolness of your touch. Fear not the ways of summer, but feel welcome in this place."

We drove an hour out to Hamilton pool last weekend. As we drove farther into the hill country, our expectations soared. Big trees, rolling hills, vast country-side. We were all wearing our swimsuits and watery hiking shoes.

As we drew closer, we realized our fate. PARASITES IN THE WATER.

Later that week, we went to the Greenbelt, wrapped around with 360 degrees of inner tube - ready to hit the water. As we hiked down into the gorge, our bodies began to perspire and hearts were ready to make a big entrance, saying, "Kowabunga!" into the water.

As we drew closer, we realized our fate. NO WATER. 

From now on, I'm keeping an eye on the weather forecast. 

 

And, this week looks like rain. Hallelujah.

Week ONE: Update ONE

Surprises are wonderful: 

a beautiful rainstorm

a wonderful new read

a perfect porch nap, disturbed only by a passing train

Month of Summer: Week ONE

I have to say that this weekend was one of the better weekends I have had recently.

Kimber and I have decided that July is Month of Summer, and it's gone off without a hitch. We have a list of things we plan on doing this month, such as celebrating the fourth with the rest of Austin downtown while listening to the symphony orchestra, (which was beautiful, by the way - I cried. It was one choked up tear to recognize the beauty of sitting out on the grass in the middle of downtown in Auditorium Shores, hearing the hum of children dancing and playing, listening to the familiar melodies of our country's great home tunes and lighting the way with fireworks almost directly overhead.) visiting Marfa, the art town, and taking Jordan's pup to Red Bud park. 

Its only been a week and July has been great. As I said before, ID4 was wonderful. I haven't had one that great in a while. It was so weird to not have my parents around. Preston and I drove to Montgomery to see my brother's family, as they were staying at my parents' house. My parents, however, were in Colorado. (When are they not?) It was so relaxing and reviving to hang out with him and his wife plus two young ladies. Claire can put her head underwater, and Phoebe swims about in her little floater-suit. I was going pretty strong the whole time, playing "King, Queen and Princess" with Claire, but, later, when I was waking up from a stolen TV nap in front of the Astros, I figured maybe I was older than I thought.

Preston and I came back on Sunday morning to finish building a project we've been working on. Jordan and I have these green tables in the living room that I have recently grown to dislike, so P and I re-painted the legs and cemented a stone/mosaic on top. It looks pretty cool. 

I hope this month of summer works out. I really would like to look back on July in August and know that it was not to be wasted. If only it would rain. Rain would make the entire summer worth being called summer. (But our first hurricane is being born in the ocean...)

my hair looks good today

I've moved three times now because the bees here seem to be following me in my every move, it's a little hot, and the dishwasher splashed water all over me through the window in which he was washing and beneath which i was sitting, but it would be difficult to make me more peaceful.

I came here to write and have a delicious glass of iced tea, and I accomplished both of my goals. Here I sit, writing and drinking tea, and it is Thursday, my favorite day. The music played in this joint is so ambiguous that the fire truck sirens resounding in the distance, leaving the the station in search of flames to stifle, seem to be a counter melody to it's harmony. 

Probably the most beautiful of days since I've gotten back from my break in the canyon, Austin has given me so much with it's sunshine and smiles. I wish this was what life really looked like. That look that promises that everything will be just this way tomorrow. That look that sings the melody of the entire city taking a deep breath. I have said before that the "woo" is one of the greatest sounds I know. The "woo" is what brings people together. But, in this case it is the "hum" of small conversation and individual people enjoying themselves, doing the things humans do, without worry. 

The Canyon was a good time. It was that moment of life that you say to yourself, "this is wonderful. School... not so wonderful, but I can appreciate it because I am supposed to." No one ever says, "get your hiking done," or "make sure you fly a kite today." Someone says, "I really should be studying right now," and the rest of us grumble together as our hammers fall to the side of the road and our slave tunes recommence. 

Of course, yes, this life is only just one inch in a mile worth of span-extension chord. What does it matter to do anything? You've got to work a little to enjoy a little. Thats terrible. I would rather work and enjoy. So, that's what the Canyon did for me, I guess. It was that kind of reminder that work and pleasure should not be mixed, but enjoyed simultaneously. 

So, on to trying new things, eh? I've been loving limes. If you think about it, a lime is one of God's perfect little things that, without it, one might not notice, but with it, one's eyes are opened to an entirely new sensory experience. My love for limes began when I noticed that one of my roommates had cleaned the dinner table off and placed a few limes in a bowl in the center. The beautiful green color of the freshest thing was burned into my mind. I wish I could paint to tell the world what I saw. I then, after seeing the beauty, decided to enjoy them otherwise.

And, it's been a success. A royal success. A purple, velvety, plum, desire, royal success. 

Tales from the creepiest building on campus

An update on me right-er now. I'm in a creepy hallway that reminds me of the school used in various teen-horror flicks as Swimfan, and, well others. Swimfan mostly. Did anyone else see that? CREEPY. 

This building has to be one of the oldest on campus, given the gargoyles keeping watch from the roof and the elevator that takes 10 minutes to get to the fourth floor. Also, there are windows on the doors of the classrooms and offices that are that speckly, textured glass, circa 1965. The door of my classroom has a mail slot. Who gets mail in a classroom? The hallway is long and brown, with linoleum flooring and green cork boards. There's a chair across from me that seems as if it has been mauled by a hungry cougar. Why a cougar would want to eat a chair, I'm not sure of. But, I'm sure the writers of Swimfan would know. They did shoot their film in this hallway. 

I'm serious, this chair is ridiculously frightening to be an inanimate object. It's unloved tweed fabric hangs off of it as it slowly sinks away with newness of the building. It sits alone as if waiting for someone important to notice it and give it new life. Or, maybe it's just waiting for me to be sitting in it with my hands tied behind my back and my mouth gagged because the psycho TA who had been waiting in his office for me to walk by finally got his wish. 

Probably not. But, you never know.

I think, now, more than ever, I'm afraid of a school shooting happening here. I'm surprised that, in the wake of recent tragedy at Virginia, copycats haven't targeted us yet.  There was one other school just recently. The guy hid behind a projector screen and took out nearly a full classroom. UT has 55,000 students. What is stopping just one person from doing that? It happened in the 60s. My dad was in school here when Charles Whitman climbed to the top of the main building tower and opened fire. You're not allowed to go to the top of tower anymore, but that's not where all of these recent shootings have been taking place. 

It's scary to be at the biggest school in the nation sometimes. Not just because of the constant threat of violence, but because of the threat of getting lost in the wake of so many other people around you being so successful. I think to myself sometimes that there is no way I will get a job after I graduate. There are so many other people competing against me from my own school. My GPA is not good enough, which is constantly weighing me down. I don't know how to shake it, other than to choose to not let it guide my decisions. I feel like I'm not the only person that feels this way. No matter your GPA, students here are all scared out of their minds about what is to become of them. Some of my friends that have already graduated and haven't found "real jobs" are among those. Then again, there's the possibility that God may put me in a place that has nothing to do with PR. Ok. I guess I'm ok with that. But, why am I here?